I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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