how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
