I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
