Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
