Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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