I CAN MOONWALK!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
