I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
