Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
