saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Randomize