i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
