do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
vagina is talking i cant
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
