Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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