It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
