I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
