love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
