After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
