You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
