Jerry, you need to find god
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
