Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found the puke drawer
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
