could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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