my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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