Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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