either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize