i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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