3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
from now on my penis is your penis
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
