i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
someone owes me an orgasm
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
