i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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