im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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