I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
