I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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