so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
