On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
