Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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