where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
