he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
