my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
