Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
