Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
