yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
