you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
