yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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