I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
