its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
