just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Say something about gay babies.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
