Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
