Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
