i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
