Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My balls are so social today.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
