How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize