i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
