Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
