Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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