Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
