You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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