Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
