its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize