Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
