question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i think i have herpe
just one?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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