Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
