tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
