I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
