Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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