She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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