we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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