Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
