Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
