You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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